Heroes, Humility, and Hubbies

 
Well there's been another gap in the time since I last blogged, but this time I have the best excuse EVER;)  On July 17th, our precious bundle of joy and boy came into our arms, at 7 lbs. 7 oz. and 19 3/4 in.  To read my whole birth story, please visit my Baby Hart blog:) What a journey it's been!  We could not be more happy and blessed.  Through this experience there's been so much learned, way more than I can share here.  But here are a few thoughts...

1. Heroes

There's debate out there about what's the "best" way to give birth.  Who's the strongest, toughest, smartest... which way makes you the most "woman".  Epidural... no epidural...C-section... vaginal delivery... this method... that method.  Let me tell you right now- it doesn't matter.  I don't care how you get a baby out of you- you are a hero.  Period.  I went into labor with no birth plan.  Best decision ever;)  For 17 hrs. I rode the roller coaster of "You'll have a baby by 10am!" to it's 6pm and there's still no baby.  The roller coaster of "We need to do a C-section" to "No, we don't"..."Yes, we do..."  Ahhhh...;)  I went as long as I could without an epidural and then got one.  Because I knew it wouldn't make me any less of a woman, but would actually take the death pain away.  I respect those women that give birth naturally.  I also respect those that get epidurals.  No one's tougher or smarter or more crazy than the other.  You have a baby?  You're a hero.  You're tough.  You're an amazing woman.

2.  Humility

While I definitely view myself as a tough woman and hero, and soak in the proper pride that comes with giving birth, I also have never experienced such a humbling time in my life.  The things that the nurses had to do for me... whoa.  The things my husband had to do for me... yeah.  The things that family and friends that are practically family had to do for me.... oh man.  The sights and sounds and...ok, enough said;)  Labor, giving birth, and recovering from it all... will humble you like no other.  And while a lot of it can be really embarrassing if I let it be... the great part is instead of dwelling on that embarrassment, I can feel overwhelmed by the love that all these people had for me.  The unconditional love and profound acts of service blow my mind and make me feel yet more humbled.  And so grow even stronger bonds that could never have been so deepened if I had not been so humbled.


Hubbies

One of the best parts since having Silas is how awesomely helpful my hubby's been.  Now, rather than make this some sappy brag fest, I'll restrain blithering on and on;)  Jason comes home, and even though he's had a long day at work, he gives me an hour break from Silas duty.  During the rest of the night we both help out evenly, and over night when Silas wakes up... again and again;)... Jason does the diaper/swaddle duty.  He even does the dishes.  It's great:)

One of the reasons I appreciate this so very much, is because it's always baffled me when guys don't help out with the kids or house stuff because that's the "woman's" work.  There can be a tendency of thinking that says "Men go to jobs, and women take care of all the domestic responsibilities."  The problem with this thinking is that in a career you get to punch in and out... you get co-workers... you get breaks.  Often women end up working 24/7 and never get the freedom to feel "off duty".  It bothers me when a man gets to come home and prop his feet up while his wife cooks dinner... and then she cleans up dinner... and it just never ends for her.  It bothers me that not only do some people think this is fair, but they think it's right.  There was a lifestyle...a culture... in the 1940's that some people mistake as Biblical.  But in Genesis 3, the curse for the man was indeed to work... but the curse for the woman was increased pain in childbirth.

That's what balances the scale.  The curse for women is pain in childbirth, and it's not just the birth... it's our cycles, the yucky sides of pregnancy, labor, breastfeeding...

Not dishes, laundry, dusting.

I understand and respect that for some families it works.  There are wives and husbands who prefer that she do all the house stuff and it's okay for them for the guy to chilax while dinner's being made.  And so that's fine!  But what baffles me are the motivations that are sometimes behind such ways of running a home.  Does she feel like she has to be Doris Day to gain approval?  Does he view it as "woman's work" instead of seeking to serve alongside her in those tasks?  These are questions that I can't answer for anyone else, and again sometimes that lifestyle is fine in some marriages.  But unfortunately, I think it's often just something that was from a different time and culture that needs to be left in the past.

We can't look at guys going to work and women doing domestic chores as an even wash.  Because women giving birth has to seriously count for something.  That is our curse, and trust me, it's no small task;)  So maybe instead we can serve alongside each other in our homes, as a team.  Sure it's not always 50-50 for everything- the way the chips fall in our family, I definitely do end up doing most of the "domestic" things.  Jason takes care of a lot of the "manly" things, like cars and mowing.  I mean, let's face it- ladies generally have a certain knack for cleaning and such;)  Guys are generally built to fix cars and mow yards.  But it's not a one-size-fits-all model.  And ultimately, the overall tone needs to be one of a team- however that plays out in each family unit.

~"Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies"~  Eph. 5:22, 25, 28