Vinegar.

  Recently I've been working on making my own homemade cleaners.  One ingredient I've gotten to use a lot of is white vinegar.  Super awesome little cleaning tool, indeed.

The smell of vinegar is quite... distinct.  And as memories often come flooding back from smells, the smell of vinegar brings back a memory for me.  A not-so-pleasant memory.  

When I was a little girl, I of course adored my older brother.  I also adored coffee (hey, a girl can't help herself;) ).  One night after church, I went out to hunt down my big bro and found him with his youth group friends.  They had done a little game during youth group where they had to be blindfold and taste different things to see if they could figure out what it was.  The remnants of the game where still there, and I spotted the coffee pretty quickly. I asked my brother to please please pleeease let me try the game and give me coffee.  Yes, I know now the game didn't really fit with such specific requests, but I was desperate for coffee;)  I mean, it's not like mom would let me have it at home, being that I was like 8 years old, so I was pretty desperate for a fix!  My brother agreed to give me some coffee, and he and his friends wrapped the blindfold around my eyes.  I opened my mouth and got ready to gulp in the glory.

Only glory soon became pretty un-glorious as vinegar filled my mouth instead. 

I was SO shocked and horrified (not to mention sick to my stomach) especially since they all thought it was the funniest thing ever.  Especially because my big bro, who was supposed to be my protector, was laughing too, and had helped the whole event come to pass.

I look back now and wish I had kicked him where it would sting just as badly.  Instead I went bawling to mommy;)  

I wouldn't tell my mom what happened.  Didn't want to get my bro in trouble.  Just cried and received her sweet comfort.

So yeah, the smell of vinegar still gives me shivers.

And maybe that's why I especially cringe at the cruelty of this part of the crucifixion:

~" After this, Jesus knowing that all things were now accomplished, that the scripture might be fulfilled, said, 'I thirst'. Now there was set a vessel full of vinegar: and they filled a sponge with vinegar, and put it upon hyssop, and put it to his mouth." ~John 19:28, 29

I know this vinegar wasn't the same that I clean with today.  But the cruelty stands.  I mean, no part of the crucifixion wasn't cruel.  But to smack vinegar in Jesus' mouth when He's dying and thirsty?  So very cruel.

And He did that, and all of it.... for us.

So when I smell vinegar and remember my sad little memory, it is so minuscule when I then remind myself of the cross.  And the vinegar Jesus tasted that day.

Oh, how He loves us.