1. Why aren't you using your degree?
The best part of this question is it reeks of sensitivity to our current economic climate. Never mind the recession we're in, just go get your dream job!! Recommended follow up questions include:
"Didn't you take out student loans??
"But I thought you wanted to become a ??
"Have you even applied anywhere??
So instead of asking yourself if you really want to know.... how many nights they've spent filling out endless applications... how many interviews they've been in... how many interviews they haven't even gotten... how hard that person is trying to be grateful for the job they do have... instead just keep probing and looking disgusted!
2. When are you gonna have a baby??
The fantastic aspect of this question is it comes in many forms. So if you feel like changing it up you can try:
"Have you guys thought about kids?"
"Do you guys wanna have kids?"
"Don't you want a baby?"
"Aren't you getting the baby itch?"
"Any babies on the way?"
"What is your plan for having children?"
"Do you know what a baby is???"
You can even change this conversation starter from question form to command form (an even more likely way to make friends!) such as: "You need to have a baby!" "You better have a kid soon!" "You should have had 3 already!!"
So instead of asking yourself if you really want to know... how happy they are without kids... how they would love to if they only could... how much "fun" they're having trying... how much fun they were having trying when they started so long ago... instead just whip away the intimacy and privacy boundaries and ask, ask, ask!
3. Why aren't you married or even dating anyone???
This question is best accompanied by a confused and concerned look on your face. Pretend while you ask the question that you know something deep and dark is wrong. It might be a good time to also ask:
"When was your last date?"
"What are you looking for in a spouse?"
"Would you like to meet my son??"
So instead of asking yourself if you really want to know... how many dating websites they're on... how many bad dates they've had... what's happened in their past to make them wary of relationships... how happy and content they are single, if only everyone else would be for them... instead offer your prayers and start seeking out a spouse for that person with as much vigilance as you can muster!
~ Well, if you want to win friends and influence people, just use one of these great conversation starters and you'll be sure to... umm... make an impression!~
Love it! I get soooo tired of that married/dating question! And, of course, it's always followed by a show of great pity for not being in a serious relationship. Really not necessary!
ReplyDeleteOh, yes. Totally with you on all of these. when we were waiting and waiting to conceive our Zachary, those questions about babies hurt soooo bad, I'd sometimes run to the bathroom in tears.
ReplyDeleteAnd then as soon as you have your first, it's "when will you have more?" But after your third in 3.5 years, all you hear is "wow, you have your hands full!" and "um, so, you guys are done now, right?" People can't just be satisfied with God's plan! :)