Tuesday, June 30, 2009

The Modesty Talk... gew. Part 3

I remember hating modesty talks. Camp and college was where I'd hear them. We'd have the day at camp that the boys were taken to the gym and the girls went to the chapel so that we could talk about boy/girl things without the opposite gender to be embarrassed in front of. Then at Bible college we'd have the once-a-semester talk in the dorm lounge.

I'm glad these people tried. Problem is, I don't think it was very affective. Ya see, when you're being told by a woman who's old, over-weight, fashionelss, and/or married (I mean this with zero offense, I'm just being honest) that modesty's important, it's hard to believe. It's hard to feel like she gets it. It's hard to feel like she knows what it's like. And here's why:

1. A girl telling me how guys think and what helps them? Really?
2. If she's married, she's getting the attention at least from someone.
3. If she's older/etc. it's hard to feel like she can really relate.

A lot of times I and others would leave these modesty talks feeling like modesty was something for another time and place and planet.

Then I heard a modesty talk from a guy. He was the dean of men at my Bible college, and when we showed up for the talk we knew we were gonna get, we were shocked to see him instead of the dean of women.

It sunk in. Sometimes it just has to come from the horse's mouth, ya know?

He held up some images that were only partly drawn, sometimes barely drawn at all. They were pictures of shapes and basic things. He would hold them for just a split second and then take them down and ask us what they were. We knew. "And that is just a taste of how guy's mind works," he said. *gulp*. He went on to explain that if we show even just some cleavage, midriff, etc. we start to draw a picture... and a guy's mind's tendency is to complete the picture. He asked us to stop starting drawing pictures that they have to fight to not complete.

Now, before you start going "Ew, guys are sick! What dirty minds.." get a grip and start realizing that GOD MADE THEM THAT WAY. America is such a hypocritical mess of letting and ENCOURAGING girls to be slutty sex-objects while being disgusted with the piggishness of men. GET A GRIP. Girls like the looks and glances, and if they don't, they shouldn't be showing it. Did you catch that? If you don't want a guy looking then STOP SHOWING.

Ok, now before I get accused of saying that guys' minds are just the way God made them and they're stuck on auto-pilot mental mode, doomed to fail, allow me to say that they should fight. If the challenge and temptation is there, for goodness sake's THEY need to fight. They can mature-up and learn to work at controlling their thought life. My problem is that godly men do this almost ALL THE TIME and of all people to step up and help them out it should be our Christian circles. I'm tired of us putting all the work on them. I'm not saying that it should be all the girls' or the guys' job- maybe we could actually both be working on this issue.

I'm not the horse's mouth, I know. But I have a few other reasons for choosing to blog about modesty. Jason, Dan, and Tim. My husband and my brothers. I'm tired of all the work, blame, and burden being on THEM. Ladies, it's time to step up and help husbands, brothers, fathers, pastors, etc. fight the battle. And if you don't think it's a valid battle, get a clue.

God made men's minds. And God made women's bodies. And God commands us to be pure. Let's all step up to that challenge, shall we? Sure, not everyone struggles to the same degree as others. And I'm not speaking for everyone. But I'm speaking for most. We don't know what each other's weaknesses are. But we can make educated guesses and use some basic principles. The next and last blog I will do on modesty will give some thoughts and principles to keep in mind to help fight the battle.

2 comments:

  1. Yeah, in reading Paul's writing - esp. 1 Corinthians lately, I'm so struck by how he is so willing to deny himself ANYTHING to help a brother in Christ become stronger, or to keep a brother from stumbling, or bring an unsaved person to Christ...and shouldn't we be willing to dress modestly at the very least??? Thanks for sharing this! :)

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  2. oh my goodness i just about stood up and clapped at the end of this! ;) this is a great reminder and i like carries comment as well! i wish more women thought about this the way we do. especially those in our christian circles.

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