To close, here's some things to keep in mind and principles to remember...
Modest clothes+movement can = quite the revealing show. A lot of times I see a lot more than I want on a lady not necessarily because of what she's wearing, but because she bends, leans or stretches and the clothes flop out, pull down, etc. Some simple fixes: 1. If you lean over, use one hand to keep your shirt to your chest. 2. bend at the knees. 3. Body Tape- this stuff is AMAZING. For like $3 you can buy it at a fabric/craft store or @ Sally's Beauty Supplies. You stick one side to your skin and one side to your clothes, and you're good to go for the day without worrying about coming apart. 4. If you're wearing a skirt, remember when you cross your legs, do it carefully and keep your knees together as much as possible (maybe that seems a little 3rd gradish but I've had a quite a few occasions where I knew what underwear some ladies were wearing just because of their not being more careful in a skirt).
We are created in HIS image. Even though we have girly bodies, girls are made in His image too. What are you doing with His image? Are you protecting it, or violating it? Bearing this image of Christ means that we are an impression of Him to other people whether or not we are doing an accurate job. If God was a girl, what would He wear? Are we giving others a good impression of Him, or a distorted one?
Yes, it's hard. Trust me, I know how difficult and annoying it is- I usually shop in the teen department, where modesty is a foreign term. I know it's hard. Some days I'll change again and again because I think "neh, that's not gonna work..." Oh, it's hard. But isn't it about time more Christians determined to do something hard?
Adam and Eve knew their nakedness- so should we. There are just some things that are obviously over the line, and if they're not to you, they should be. I think we've been desensitized to the revealing of a women's body because we are bombarded with it in our culture every day. But that desensitization is not a good thing, and it's definitely not an excuse. For example: bikinis. I mean, really? How that is ever considered appropriate I will never understand. I have yet to see a bikini that doesn't pretty much draw the whole image of the body it's on without much use from the imagination at all.
Ask yourself: Would you feel comfortable wearing (fill-in-the-blank) in front of Jesus if He was a human man on earth again, or would you be seeking more cover like Adam and Eve did with God in the garden? We need to realize our nakedness.
God created beauty. It is NOT wrong to be attractive. It is NOT wrong to work on your appearance. God is the author of beauty! God loves beauty! He REVELS in it. Look at the sunsets HE made! He is NOT against beauty- He is for it. The problem is when beauty is tainted, cheapened, exploited, and worshipped.
Have a spirit of modesty. You could be the "modesty" queen of the year, but still not be modest. Modesty is more than skin, it's your heart. What attention are you seeking? How do you carry yourself? What consumes your concerns: if God's impressed with you, or if people are?
If you're married, be the most immodest chick for your man. There is a time and place for everything:) Remember, God made men's minds and women's bodies- and He did it for a reason! Enjoy God's plan and design in the way He intended you to; and help your guy fight for you and your marriage by giving him some sweet rewards.
If it shouldn't be touched, it shouldn't be showed. If you hear NOTHING but this, hear this. One of the most helpful tips I keep in mind is this: If it would be wrong for a guy to touch a place on your body, then it is wrong for you to show it. THAT SIMPLE. I know some places, like say the knees, could be inappropriate for a guy to touch if he did it in a seductive way; but I mean if no matter the how it would just be wrong for the guy to reach out and touch it.
Men are sued all the time for inappropriately touching a woman. Imagine if the guys sued back?? Women are stimulated by touch. Men are stimulated by sight. If a guy touches a woman in a place that is other-wise stimulating, we take his money, job, and reputation. But women get away with showing what is other-wise stimulating ALL THE TIME and NOTHING is done except the theory "men are pigs with dirty minds". What a double-standard. How ridiculous! If it can't be touched, IT SHOULDN'T BE SHOWED. Ladies, what you are revealing should be able to be touched without feeling violated. Stop violating men.
~~~~~
In the Bible, we see examples of actually fleeing from sin, of Christian warriors giving up their rights so that they wouldn't cause another Christian to stumble, of taking the extra mile to be even farther away from the line and getting as close to purity as possible. Do we have that same drive today? Do we seek His glory ultimately? Do we seek to edify and help our Christian brothers? Or do we want to get away with as much as we possibly can.... to maintain OUR rights and seek OUR best. What motivates you when you get dressed?
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
The Modesty Talk... gew. Part 3
I remember hating modesty talks. Camp and college was where I'd hear them. We'd have the day at camp that the boys were taken to the gym and the girls went to the chapel so that we could talk about boy/girl things without the opposite gender to be embarrassed in front of. Then at Bible college we'd have the once-a-semester talk in the dorm lounge.
I'm glad these people tried. Problem is, I don't think it was very affective. Ya see, when you're being told by a woman who's old, over-weight, fashionelss, and/or married (I mean this with zero offense, I'm just being honest) that modesty's important, it's hard to believe. It's hard to feel like she gets it. It's hard to feel like she knows what it's like. And here's why:
1. A girl telling me how guys think and what helps them? Really?
2. If she's married, she's getting the attention at least from someone.
3. If she's older/etc. it's hard to feel like she can really relate.
A lot of times I and others would leave these modesty talks feeling like modesty was something for another time and place and planet.
Then I heard a modesty talk from a guy. He was the dean of men at my Bible college, and when we showed up for the talk we knew we were gonna get, we were shocked to see him instead of the dean of women.
It sunk in. Sometimes it just has to come from the horse's mouth, ya know?
He held up some images that were only partly drawn, sometimes barely drawn at all. They were pictures of shapes and basic things. He would hold them for just a split second and then take them down and ask us what they were. We knew. "And that is just a taste of how guy's mind works," he said. *gulp*. He went on to explain that if we show even just some cleavage, midriff, etc. we start to draw a picture... and a guy's mind's tendency is to complete the picture. He asked us to stop starting drawing pictures that they have to fight to not complete.
Now, before you start going "Ew, guys are sick! What dirty minds.." get a grip and start realizing that GOD MADE THEM THAT WAY. America is such a hypocritical mess of letting and ENCOURAGING girls to be slutty sex-objects while being disgusted with the piggishness of men. GET A GRIP. Girls like the looks and glances, and if they don't, they shouldn't be showing it. Did you catch that? If you don't want a guy looking then STOP SHOWING.
Ok, now before I get accused of saying that guys' minds are just the way God made them and they're stuck on auto-pilot mental mode, doomed to fail, allow me to say that they should fight. If the challenge and temptation is there, for goodness sake's THEY need to fight. They can mature-up and learn to work at controlling their thought life. My problem is that godly men do this almost ALL THE TIME and of all people to step up and help them out it should be our Christian circles. I'm tired of us putting all the work on them. I'm not saying that it should be all the girls' or the guys' job- maybe we could actually both be working on this issue.
I'm not the horse's mouth, I know. But I have a few other reasons for choosing to blog about modesty. Jason, Dan, and Tim. My husband and my brothers. I'm tired of all the work, blame, and burden being on THEM. Ladies, it's time to step up and help husbands, brothers, fathers, pastors, etc. fight the battle. And if you don't think it's a valid battle, get a clue.
God made men's minds. And God made women's bodies. And God commands us to be pure. Let's all step up to that challenge, shall we? Sure, not everyone struggles to the same degree as others. And I'm not speaking for everyone. But I'm speaking for most. We don't know what each other's weaknesses are. But we can make educated guesses and use some basic principles. The next and last blog I will do on modesty will give some thoughts and principles to keep in mind to help fight the battle.
I'm glad these people tried. Problem is, I don't think it was very affective. Ya see, when you're being told by a woman who's old, over-weight, fashionelss, and/or married (I mean this with zero offense, I'm just being honest) that modesty's important, it's hard to believe. It's hard to feel like she gets it. It's hard to feel like she knows what it's like. And here's why:
1. A girl telling me how guys think and what helps them? Really?
2. If she's married, she's getting the attention at least from someone.
3. If she's older/etc. it's hard to feel like she can really relate.
A lot of times I and others would leave these modesty talks feeling like modesty was something for another time and place and planet.
Then I heard a modesty talk from a guy. He was the dean of men at my Bible college, and when we showed up for the talk we knew we were gonna get, we were shocked to see him instead of the dean of women.
It sunk in. Sometimes it just has to come from the horse's mouth, ya know?
He held up some images that were only partly drawn, sometimes barely drawn at all. They were pictures of shapes and basic things. He would hold them for just a split second and then take them down and ask us what they were. We knew. "And that is just a taste of how guy's mind works," he said. *gulp*. He went on to explain that if we show even just some cleavage, midriff, etc. we start to draw a picture... and a guy's mind's tendency is to complete the picture. He asked us to stop starting drawing pictures that they have to fight to not complete.
Now, before you start going "Ew, guys are sick! What dirty minds.." get a grip and start realizing that GOD MADE THEM THAT WAY. America is such a hypocritical mess of letting and ENCOURAGING girls to be slutty sex-objects while being disgusted with the piggishness of men. GET A GRIP. Girls like the looks and glances, and if they don't, they shouldn't be showing it. Did you catch that? If you don't want a guy looking then STOP SHOWING.
Ok, now before I get accused of saying that guys' minds are just the way God made them and they're stuck on auto-pilot mental mode, doomed to fail, allow me to say that they should fight. If the challenge and temptation is there, for goodness sake's THEY need to fight. They can mature-up and learn to work at controlling their thought life. My problem is that godly men do this almost ALL THE TIME and of all people to step up and help them out it should be our Christian circles. I'm tired of us putting all the work on them. I'm not saying that it should be all the girls' or the guys' job- maybe we could actually both be working on this issue.
I'm not the horse's mouth, I know. But I have a few other reasons for choosing to blog about modesty. Jason, Dan, and Tim. My husband and my brothers. I'm tired of all the work, blame, and burden being on THEM. Ladies, it's time to step up and help husbands, brothers, fathers, pastors, etc. fight the battle. And if you don't think it's a valid battle, get a clue.
God made men's minds. And God made women's bodies. And God commands us to be pure. Let's all step up to that challenge, shall we? Sure, not everyone struggles to the same degree as others. And I'm not speaking for everyone. But I'm speaking for most. We don't know what each other's weaknesses are. But we can make educated guesses and use some basic principles. The next and last blog I will do on modesty will give some thoughts and principles to keep in mind to help fight the battle.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Ah, the pendulum swing... round 2
One of the most interesting current characteristics of Christianity to me is that of the good ol' pendulum swing. Basically, we lack balance. We see an extreme and we swing as far as we can the other way. I believe this is the current case in modesty. It's often either dress no differently than the world around us and don't even think it through or swing away to the other extreme of anti-fashion and the worship of rules.
What I'm saying is that the two choices aren't A. either show more than you should or B. cover up as much skin as possible because it's allll tempting. What I'm saying is that we need some balance.
To a point, I understand the confusion. There's a lot of conflicting messages today, aren't there? Let's listen for a second to what we're being told...
1. From the world: "If you've got it, flaunt it!" "Men are pigs! How dare they look at you... what pervs!" and, though not cleary stated with words, clearly stated nonetheless: "Your body is what defines you, what gives you worth, and without showing it, you will never be noticed nor fully appreciated."
2. From the other extreme of the pendulum swing: "Skirts are modest." (really? try this one in the Iowa wind, getting out of a car, etc.), "Don't show your knees!", "Culottes are a must!" and basically it's a lot of rules, rules, rules..
.
3. From the church: (silence)
*sigh* oh for a voice of reason.
Wait... what's that? The Bible??
1 Timothy 2:9- Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments."
Now, I'll pause while some chuckle thinking to themselves, "This isn't applicable! There's a cultural difference here! Surely we can braid hair and wear pearls, right?"
*sigh again* And so often we toss out principles from Scripture because we read of specific practices from these principles that are outdated. In fact, many do that also for the verse before this one that talks about "men raising holy hands in prayer". Readers who do not want to accept that this verse could be approving, even commanding the raising of hands start knit-picking it and say "that was a different culture... we can't take this literally anyways, we don't have holy hands." And we miss the meaning of the message, again and again. If you think you still don't have a problem with tossing out these verses becauese of cultural differences, stop and think about how much more of Scripture we could ignore because of the same reason.
I'm sure if 1 Timother 2:9 were written today it would indeed give culturally appropriate examples; instead of pearls and braided hair, I can just imagine what would be put in place. I'll let you fill in the blanks.
Be careful of the messages that are being whispered to you from the extremes. Notice the silences as well. And be careful of your pendulum swinging to extremes because it is afraid of the other end of the swing.
What I'm saying is that the two choices aren't A. either show more than you should or B. cover up as much skin as possible because it's allll tempting. What I'm saying is that we need some balance.
To a point, I understand the confusion. There's a lot of conflicting messages today, aren't there? Let's listen for a second to what we're being told...
1. From the world: "If you've got it, flaunt it!" "Men are pigs! How dare they look at you... what pervs!" and, though not cleary stated with words, clearly stated nonetheless: "Your body is what defines you, what gives you worth, and without showing it, you will never be noticed nor fully appreciated."
2. From the other extreme of the pendulum swing: "Skirts are modest." (really? try this one in the Iowa wind, getting out of a car, etc.), "Don't show your knees!", "Culottes are a must!" and basically it's a lot of rules, rules, rules..
.
3. From the church: (silence)
*sigh* oh for a voice of reason.
Wait... what's that? The Bible??
1 Timothy 2:9- Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments."
Now, I'll pause while some chuckle thinking to themselves, "This isn't applicable! There's a cultural difference here! Surely we can braid hair and wear pearls, right?"
*sigh again* And so often we toss out principles from Scripture because we read of specific practices from these principles that are outdated. In fact, many do that also for the verse before this one that talks about "men raising holy hands in prayer". Readers who do not want to accept that this verse could be approving, even commanding the raising of hands start knit-picking it and say "that was a different culture... we can't take this literally anyways, we don't have holy hands." And we miss the meaning of the message, again and again. If you think you still don't have a problem with tossing out these verses becauese of cultural differences, stop and think about how much more of Scripture we could ignore because of the same reason.
I'm sure if 1 Timother 2:9 were written today it would indeed give culturally appropriate examples; instead of pearls and braided hair, I can just imagine what would be put in place. I'll let you fill in the blanks.
Be careful of the messages that are being whispered to you from the extremes. Notice the silences as well. And be careful of your pendulum swinging to extremes because it is afraid of the other end of the swing.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Here goes nothing... let round 1 begin.
I haven't posted in a while.
It's not because I've been busy, though I have. And it's not because I've had writer's block.
It's because I've been too scared to post what I know I've been needing to post about.
You see, the Christian audience is one of the most critical, judgmental, and closed-minded audience out there. I said it.
Now, maybe my little audience of readers on here will be anything but. That would be fantastic. If you guys could be open and gracious and not easily offended, wow... yes, fantastic.
The issue is that from day one of this blog I've wanted to write on a topic that is not popular. So I've blogged about many other things that are important to me as well; but I've been pressed lately that it's about time I blog about what I've wanted to write about for so long. Actually, even long before this blog I have been wanting to write or in some form express my view on this unpopular area. But I have kept my opinions of it to only those closest to me.
A couple of disclaimers first:
I know I'm a strongly opinionated person. I know it can get ridiculous. Like it really drives me nuts when people can't even go in the correct "Exit" or "Entrance" signs at Walmart. Or if anyone heard me while driving they might think I were insane. My first disclaimer is that I want you all to know that that is not the case here. I am not merely ranting about something I know shouldn't be such a big deal. And I am not ranting. I am burdened. And I have thought and prayed so much over this topic for YEARS. Many many years.
With that being said, I am also probably not completely what a lot of people think I am. There are quite a few areas that Christians label as black, while I would put them in the gray or even the white. I have some views that are very different from what a lot of Christians have and from what I grew up with. I would only tell these views of mine to a very few trusted and close friends who I know wouldn't judge or write me off. So basically my disclaimer #2 is that the topic I will be blogging on is not coming from a legalistic, extremely conservative writer, because I am not one.
Disclaimer #3: This is not an attack against ANYONE in particular. It is not meant as an attack at all, but especially not against specific people. Many experiences, places, people, and events have caused me to write what I will be writing on.
My current topic will be a short series on modesty. There ya go. Unpopular, un-dealt with modesty. Well, I take that back... it's sometimes dealt with but not in effective or even appropriate ways. Usually these end up doing more harm than good.
But the fact is that I'm tired of being shocked at our current Christian culture and how Christian women and girls in it dress. I'm tired of us not even trying or caring anymore. I'm tired of those who should know better crossing lines. And I'm tired of those who truly don't know better having zero guidance from our Christian leaders and environments to help them know better.
I've been in many many MANY churches, two Christian colleges, several Christian book stores; and have many Christian friends on facebook who's pictures often do more than surprise me. I'm tired of being shocked. I'm burdened for those who don't know better. I'm flabbergasted at those who do.
So these are my disclaimers. My next few posts will be taking a deeper, realer, and straight up look at this issue. I will be blogging from the depths of my heart. If you choose now to tune out to my next several postings, fine. That stinks, but fine. My hope is that those who are willing to listen.... those who are open.... those who care, keep reading.
It's not because I've been busy, though I have. And it's not because I've had writer's block.
It's because I've been too scared to post what I know I've been needing to post about.
You see, the Christian audience is one of the most critical, judgmental, and closed-minded audience out there. I said it.
Now, maybe my little audience of readers on here will be anything but. That would be fantastic. If you guys could be open and gracious and not easily offended, wow... yes, fantastic.
The issue is that from day one of this blog I've wanted to write on a topic that is not popular. So I've blogged about many other things that are important to me as well; but I've been pressed lately that it's about time I blog about what I've wanted to write about for so long. Actually, even long before this blog I have been wanting to write or in some form express my view on this unpopular area. But I have kept my opinions of it to only those closest to me.
A couple of disclaimers first:
I know I'm a strongly opinionated person. I know it can get ridiculous. Like it really drives me nuts when people can't even go in the correct "Exit" or "Entrance" signs at Walmart. Or if anyone heard me while driving they might think I were insane. My first disclaimer is that I want you all to know that that is not the case here. I am not merely ranting about something I know shouldn't be such a big deal. And I am not ranting. I am burdened. And I have thought and prayed so much over this topic for YEARS. Many many years.
With that being said, I am also probably not completely what a lot of people think I am. There are quite a few areas that Christians label as black, while I would put them in the gray or even the white. I have some views that are very different from what a lot of Christians have and from what I grew up with. I would only tell these views of mine to a very few trusted and close friends who I know wouldn't judge or write me off. So basically my disclaimer #2 is that the topic I will be blogging on is not coming from a legalistic, extremely conservative writer, because I am not one.
Disclaimer #3: This is not an attack against ANYONE in particular. It is not meant as an attack at all, but especially not against specific people. Many experiences, places, people, and events have caused me to write what I will be writing on.
My current topic will be a short series on modesty. There ya go. Unpopular, un-dealt with modesty. Well, I take that back... it's sometimes dealt with but not in effective or even appropriate ways. Usually these end up doing more harm than good.
But the fact is that I'm tired of being shocked at our current Christian culture and how Christian women and girls in it dress. I'm tired of us not even trying or caring anymore. I'm tired of those who should know better crossing lines. And I'm tired of those who truly don't know better having zero guidance from our Christian leaders and environments to help them know better.
I've been in many many MANY churches, two Christian colleges, several Christian book stores; and have many Christian friends on facebook who's pictures often do more than surprise me. I'm tired of being shocked. I'm burdened for those who don't know better. I'm flabbergasted at those who do.
So these are my disclaimers. My next few posts will be taking a deeper, realer, and straight up look at this issue. I will be blogging from the depths of my heart. If you choose now to tune out to my next several postings, fine. That stinks, but fine. My hope is that those who are willing to listen.... those who are open.... those who care, keep reading.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Motivation to Proselytize
The video I'll put at the end of this blog hit me hard. And I'm not being dramatic when I tell you it changed me deeply.
I'll admit often when the opportunity comes to tell someone about Jesus, I choke. And many other times, the opportunity would be there if I would make it but I don't put forth the effort.
It's funny (strange funny, not ha ha) to me when I stop to think about it, how I can't wait to tell people about the most truly meaningless things in my life, but get nervous at telling them about the most important aspect of it.
I know I need to witness for Christ more. I know I should get off my lazy and self-conscious can and tell people about my Saviour. And I know that it is a command from God Himself to do so.
I'm sick of giving myself brownie points for the handful of times I feel like I really took advantage of the full opportunity to talk to someone. I'm tired of wasting my tongue and enthusiasm on pointless conversations with people who are going to hell. I'm fed-up with hiding behind invitations to church as cop-outs to directly talk to someone about my faith.
I'm done. It's time for me to get serious about this.
Watch this video, and look within yourself. See if you feel the same kick-in-the-pants I did. Commit with me to take complete advantage of the opportunities we're given; to steer the conversations in more meaningful ways; to sincerely show our love for Christ and others; to proselytize.
I'll admit often when the opportunity comes to tell someone about Jesus, I choke. And many other times, the opportunity would be there if I would make it but I don't put forth the effort.
It's funny (strange funny, not ha ha) to me when I stop to think about it, how I can't wait to tell people about the most truly meaningless things in my life, but get nervous at telling them about the most important aspect of it.
I know I need to witness for Christ more. I know I should get off my lazy and self-conscious can and tell people about my Saviour. And I know that it is a command from God Himself to do so.
I'm sick of giving myself brownie points for the handful of times I feel like I really took advantage of the full opportunity to talk to someone. I'm tired of wasting my tongue and enthusiasm on pointless conversations with people who are going to hell. I'm fed-up with hiding behind invitations to church as cop-outs to directly talk to someone about my faith.
I'm done. It's time for me to get serious about this.
Watch this video, and look within yourself. See if you feel the same kick-in-the-pants I did. Commit with me to take complete advantage of the opportunities we're given; to steer the conversations in more meaningful ways; to sincerely show our love for Christ and others; to proselytize.
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